Left to Guess

I consider myself somewhat of a problem solver. Give me the pieces and I can usually put things together to find the solution. I am still putting together the pieces of the event this morning. Let me tell you the pieces and then I will put them together with what I think happened.
Mary and I were packing lunches and finding something for breakfast when there was a noise at the front door. It sounded like something (I was guessing a newspaper) had hit the front door. We don't get a newspaper so this would be something new. When I went to the door to see what was going on, the was a hawk sitting at the edge of the landing (a four by six slab of concrete at the front door). I got a good look at him since he sat there for at least five seconds after I walked up to the door. At this point I remember hearing the cry of a hawk just moments prior to the noise that brought me to the door to investigate. After the hawk frew away I took another look to see what had hit the house, nothing there. Well, with the exception of a mole that looked pretty stunned or dead. The mole would have been about three feet from where the hawk was sitting.
Ok. Have you put it together yet? My guess is that the hawk was after the mole and misjudged his flight path, forgetting that the house was a solid object. Actually, I really think he hit the wooden rails which are at the side of the front landing just after snagging the mole. In his dazed state, he dropped the mole and sat recovering nearby. When I walked to the door I scared him and he flew off without his breakfast.
Now, the rest of the story. (Anybody ever listen to Paul Harvey when they were younger?) Mary was not thrilled at having a dead mole on the landing all day and suggested that I promptly remove it. After finding my shovel, which still has a broken handle that I intend to fix someday, I went to make the mole disappear. Walking up to the mole I see that he is stll laying on his back, legs shaking. That is until I get the shovel about a foot from him, and all of a sudden he springs to life, darting every which way. I bet I looked like an idiot trying to catch that sucker. Finally he got off of the concrete and tried to hide in the mulch next to the house. He would have been better off continuing to run in circles as I probably would have gotten tired and given up the case. But since he didn't, we have one less mole to worry about.

I'm done traveling

My dreams of late have been quite interesting. I previously described how I fell in a hole and woke my wife. Last week I again woke her becuase of a dream that came to life. I was chasing monkeys (I think this has something to do with all the monkeys we saw in Costa Rica). When I tried to chase the monkeys away I started to imitate the noise of 'howler monkeys'. My imitation was not confined to my dream, I woke both myself and my wife with my grunting.
That's not the end of the dreams though. This morning I had such a disturbing dream that I had difficulty going back to sleep. Everytime I started to drift off I would realize I was just extending the dream and I didn't want to. So I would wake up, wait a bit, and then try once again to fall asleep and dream of something new. You wouldn't think that a dream where I get to go to Hawaii could be bad, but you don't know my dreams.

My dream:
I got to go to Hawaii with a high school friend. I didn't tell my wife I was going until just prior to departure so that she would not make me feel guilty for not taking her. In hindsite, this was not a good idea. When reserving hotels for the trip I chose the more economically priced room, but my friend upgraded (waste of money I thought). When we got to the hotel, we checked in and found my friends room, a huge room with a beautiful view. I was thinking how great this trip was going to be. We then went to locate my room. After searching for some time we finally realized that my room was an interior room just off the main cafeteria of the hotel, so there would be noise at all hours of the day/night. Not to mention it was about the size of a large closet - barely room to walk beside the bed and I am not entirely sure there was even a bathroom. This was ridiculous, so I went to the front desk to get a new room. They offered me a new room, but I thought it a little odd that the room number was 'C138' and that someone was going to have to take me to it. The hotel was on the harbor and as we walked along the waterfront I thought I was going to get a good room, that was until the bellboy stopped and lifted a manhole looking cover, dropped my bag down, and started to climbing. I decided the 'C' in the room number stood for cellar. We got to the room and although getting down the ladder was going to get black dust on my each trip and the room was again quite small, it did have a wonderful view. The peaceful water came right up to the bottom of the window providing a wonderful view out the window. I got unpacked and a few friends who were also in the area came to take a look out my window, as I had talked up the wonderful view. As we stood looking out the window, the water seemed to be rising, then coming in the window. Soon the room was flooded and we couldn't get out of the room. Then the floor and outer wall broke free from the building and we were floating in the ocean (still standing on the floor of my room). Somehow the chunk of floor and wall that we were grasping to managed to be washed up to shore. So I lost my luggage and everything else that I didn't have in my pockets. At the front desk of the hotel I explained what happened and that I would need a new room (expected to be compensated for my problems). They put me back in the closet that had originally assigned me, despite my efforts to look pitiful and argue for an upgrade. The rest of the trip was not much better, but is a little sketchy in details.
I've decided that I will not be going to Hawaii anytime soon. Already took one trip there and it was a disaster. Not to mention I was in trouble with my wife when I got home. I guess I will at least invite her to go on the next trip.

Waking my wife

Mary and I got married and went to Costa Rica for our honeymoon. Both the wedding and the honeymoon were wonderful. I don't have pictures yet, that's not my department and not the story I want to tell right now.
I have been doing so good lately at avoiding the type of random incidents that make good stories. You know, not doing stupid stuff which tands to result in fewer injuries to tell about. But, on the honeymoon, Mary caught a glimpse of me; well, I imagine she caught lots a glimpses of me, but this one imparticular was indicative of my clumsy nature.
We were sound asleep one night when all of a sudden I lost my footing. Right, I was in a bed, horizontal, and I missed a step. You know the feeling you have when you think there is ground under your foot, you put it down, and it just keeps going beyond where the ground is - so you have to step quickly to avoid falling - that's what was happening. Well, I jerked quite fiercly as I kicked at the covers to quickly find more solid footing and woke my wife. After being so rudely awaken, she of course asked what had happened. I had no idea how to explain to her that I am so clumsy that I stumble even in my dreams, so I just told her 'nothing's wrong, just fell in a hole.' That of course was a terrible explanation which just brought more questions and I had to explain further, but a more detailed explanation was almost embarrassing at the moment.
And you thought this would be about how I got smacked in the face as I tried to wake up my sleeping wife in the morning. Well, luckily I have managed to miss all the flying objects when that happens - which is easy to do when the number of flying objects is zero.